Some Thoughts On Dating In Your 50s

I have noticed that women in their fifties often feel insecure about their age. They are wondering, if they are too old to go out dating.

Personally, I believe that it is never too late to go out and create the (love) life you desire.

You may be riddled with self-doubt, when you find yourself single again in your midlife years, but remember, there are also many men in your situation looking for new and lasting love.

It's simply a question of getting up, brushing yourself off and going out there to meet new people.

Before you make that conscious decision to find a new partner, you need to ensure that you are happy and content on your own. 

A good social circle helps, hobbies and interests you pursue in a group with like-minded souls, but also enjoying your own company in solitude at home.

I also cannot stress enough, how important it is to practice self-care. This includes a healthy diet, plenty of exercise and wearing clothes that make you feel good about yourself. 

Also, follow a beauty regime that takes into account your skin's condition, so you can counteract the ageing process as best as you can. You may need to change your skin care products, which you have been using for years; they might no longer be effective. You could ask a beautician or dermatologist for advice.

Dating in your fifties can be great fun. At your age you have experience, people knowledge, hopefully you are reasonably financially secure and independent. Even a child at home (my son is 14) should not be an obstacle. I've made sure, my son's father is doing his fair share of child-minding.

When you start looking for a new partner, don't get disheartened, if no one suitable crosses your path straight away. It takes time and patience. In my experience only about 1% of men on internet dating sites are worth meeting, and even when I do meet them, they're not necessarily knocking my socks off.

But I've been on two dates, and I'm happy to meet both again, although I doubt it will lead to anything more serious.

The reason, why I'll be meeting them again is that they're both such nice guys, I really did enjoy their company, and perhaps one of them will win my heart after all.

It can be scary and unsettling meeting men - strangers - on a date. You never know what to expect, but so far I've come to realise that most men also want the same as I do, i.e. finding someone to love.

There's nothing sinister about people, once you meet them in the flesh. But of course, it's always important to keep things safe and in public until you feel you can trust them.

Overall, dating in your fifties can be great fun and help you raise your confidence, self-esteem and find new love and companionship eventually.

You're NOT too old, NOT over the hill and it's NOT too late.

How To Get Over a Breakup

I'm not the sort of person, who floats from one relationship to the next. I was married for 20 years and had a 3-year relationship afterwards.

Recently I was planning to settle down with a really nice guy (so I thought) for the rest of my life (at least that's my sincere intention when I start a relationship with someone).

But it wasn't meant to be. Dumped out of the blue, I had to start dealing with those terrible feelings of loss and hurt.

Although I'm stilling going through the motions, I'm no longer hurting as bad as I did two weeks ago.

And if you're wondering, how you will overcome the pain or if it will ever go away, then let me reassure you that you will get better, and you will be happy again.

First of all, don't ever beg him to stay or come back to you. Trust me, it's not attractive. Keep your dignity. Let him go.

Then, you need to be patient with yourself. Those painful feelings and depressive thoughts are normal in the circumstances.

Don't suppress your feelings. If you need to cry, have a good one. Let it out. I cried a whole day a few days after he left me, and afterwards I started to feel better.

Don't remember the good times you had with him. Instead, remember him for the fact he hurt you. Remember what you didn't like about him, and soon you'll realise it was for the best.

You will still experience the odd bad day, which is normal. Just keep being patient with yourself.

Talk about it with friends.

Practice self-care. Try not to drown your sorrows in alcohol and chocolate. Have some spa treatments instead.

Be optimistic about new possibilities. You will meet someone new, who will be right for you. You will love again, and it will be better than before.

Hindsight is a wonderful thing. You can reflect on why it went wrong, and you can learn from it, but don't ponder for too long. You need to put closure on it and move on.

Whatever you do, make sure it's nurturing and healing.

Don't get in touch with him. Delete him from your contacts and social media accounts.

He will never be your friend. Would you really want to be friends with someone, who rejected you and hurt you like this?

At one point, you will feel anger towards him, which will help your recovery. But don't be tempted to badmouth him or try to take some kind of vengeance. Your reputation will suffer (that bitter and twisted cow), and it really isn't worth your while.

Use your anger in a creative and healing way: go jogging, work out in the gym, dance, write a poem, create a clay sculpture of how you'd want him to look...

Maybe you're thinking that I'm making it sound easy, but trust me, I know how much a breakup sucks.

I also know that life goes on, and it's a more pleasant experience, when you are determined to enjoy it.

Always remember, that you will be happy again. Don't let this breakup defeat you.

And if you have more tips to share about how to heal from a breakup, please let me know.