Dating Tip: Why You Need To Talk About Sex

Oh dear, I'm mentioning sex again, even though I don't want to, but I feel I have to...

You see, my recent dating adventure has made me think.

I have realised that often the main reason, why relationships fail in their early stages is because people don't talk about their sexual preferences before they jump into bed together.

Now, I recently met this really nice guy, and we got on so well together. We went for meals, for walks in the countryside, on a night out...we held hands...and then he asked:

"What do you like in bed?"

I responded with an embarrassed giggle despite my age, but I did manage to come up with some suggestions on how he could make me happy in bed.

And then it was his turn to tell me...

Saying that I was disappointed would be an understatement.

Needless to say we realised that despite enjoying each other's company on a social level, we were sexually incompatible.

*Sigh*

At least I found out before anything else happened, and I learned a useful lesson in the process.

Until this moment, I had naively assumed that when you are attracted to each other and get on well together, everything will work fine in the bedroom department, too.

Wrong.

It might be embarrassing, strange or awkward, but it is important to talk about sex with your date before it happens, if you feel it's going into that direction.

Especially women need to overcome their shyness and be open and frank about it, otherwise they will just get hurt.

It's all well and good enjoying each other's company, but sexual compatibility is equally important, otherwise the relationship won't last long.

So, here's my advice:

find out about what the other likes in bed before you let them close. This way you save yourself a lot of heartache.

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Embracing A New Era - Sex and The Menopause

Until I turned 50 earlier this year and experienced the first signs of the menopause, I realised that women are still having to deal with stigma and prejudice when they approach their midlife years.

In a dating forum I once noticed a discussion between men, who agreed not to date women, who were currently going through the menopause, because 'they could be moody and unpredictable'.

When you google the term 'menopause', you will notice that most links relate to health issues, mental disorders and sexual dysfunction.

Menopause is still regarded first and foremost as a disease rather than a new life phase that will offer new possibilities and opportunities.

There isn't much about the positive aspects of the menopause, and that indeed you can still have a great sex life despite falling oestrogen levels. Discover vaginal moisturisers (the hormone free varieties), and painful sex will become a thing of the past.

In your later years, you can even become a best-selling and prolific novelist like Mary Wesley, who in her seventies gave us the beautiful and timeless Camomile Lawn and A Sensible Life.

Above all, it's about mindset. Reject words and phrases like can't, lost youth, too old, over the hill, past it etc. You can make bold fashion statements, be a sex goddess or achieve business success even when you're well past 50.

Honestly, you can.

Nowadays there is no longer any reason whatsoever to become invisible, lose your passion or turn into an old hag of the fairytale variety.

And if you wonder, what to look forward to when you've reached the menopause, then read this inspirational article.