Some Thoughts On Dating In Your 50s

I have noticed that women in their fifties often feel insecure about their age. They are wondering, if they are too old to go out dating.

Personally, I believe that it is never too late to go out and create the (love) life you desire.

You may be riddled with self-doubt, when you find yourself single again in your midlife years, but remember, there are also many men in your situation looking for new and lasting love.

It's simply a question of getting up, brushing yourself off and going out there to meet new people.

Before you make that conscious decision to find a new partner, you need to ensure that you are happy and content on your own. 

A good social circle helps, hobbies and interests you pursue in a group with like-minded souls, but also enjoying your own company in solitude at home.

I also cannot stress enough, how important it is to practice self-care. This includes a healthy diet, plenty of exercise and wearing clothes that make you feel good about yourself. 

Also, follow a beauty regime that takes into account your skin's condition, so you can counteract the ageing process as best as you can. You may need to change your skin care products, which you have been using for years; they might no longer be effective. You could ask a beautician or dermatologist for advice.

Dating in your fifties can be great fun. At your age you have experience, people knowledge, hopefully you are reasonably financially secure and independent. Even a child at home (my son is 14) should not be an obstacle. I've made sure, my son's father is doing his fair share of child-minding.

When you start looking for a new partner, don't get disheartened, if no one suitable crosses your path straight away. It takes time and patience. In my experience only about 1% of men on internet dating sites are worth meeting, and even when I do meet them, they're not necessarily knocking my socks off.

But I've been on two dates, and I'm happy to meet both again, although I doubt it will lead to anything more serious.

The reason, why I'll be meeting them again is that they're both such nice guys, I really did enjoy their company, and perhaps one of them will win my heart after all.

It can be scary and unsettling meeting men - strangers - on a date. You never know what to expect, but so far I've come to realise that most men also want the same as I do, i.e. finding someone to love.

There's nothing sinister about people, once you meet them in the flesh. But of course, it's always important to keep things safe and in public until you feel you can trust them.

Overall, dating in your fifties can be great fun and help you raise your confidence, self-esteem and find new love and companionship eventually.

You're NOT too old, NOT over the hill and it's NOT too late.

Happy Belated Birthday To Me

Making the most of what life throws at me is one of my rules of survival.

Giving up isn't an option, although over the past twelve months I sometimes thought that if I died the next day, it wouldn't be such a bad thing.

But of course it would be for my son and immediate family, so I stop being dramatic and selfish and make the most of the lemons thrown at me.

On the 23rd February I turned 50. Two weeks before, my boyfriend left me.

He was supposed to take me away for my birthday, and I found myself wondering, how and with whom I would spend the day I officially turn middle-aged.

Very kindly, my ex hubby stepped in and booked us into a luxury hotel for a few days. We went with his mum and our son and had a fantastic time.

I didn't miss the man, who hurt me, but of course the pain of abandonment was present. I soothed myself with the pool, the gym, some spa treatments and delicious food and drink...most of all the company of my family.

Sounds quite cute actually.. I imagine cats doing
silly things in there...

The hotel was located in Blackpool overlooking the beach and the Irish sea.

I've never been to Blackpool before, and I must say have no intention ever to return. It's littered with amusement arcades, seedy bars and shabby little hotels to accommodate the thousands of weekend revellers flocking to the place for their own surreal version of entertainment.

The Imperial Hotel we stayed at was an oasis in the desert, a real treat. I probably had a much better time there with my family than if I'd spent it with my boyfriend.

You need a good sense of humour for Blackpool

Sometimes things are meant to be put right. Deep down I knew that celebrating my 50th birthday with a man I hardly knew was so wrong.

Instead, it was right to spend the day with the people that matter the most to me, including my ex, who is also my best friend despite everything we've been through.

I still regard us as a family, the family with two households. We didn't opt for the messy divorce, and our son is happily floating between two homes, enjoying two very different worlds and both his parents always present.

So, everything is organised and worked through. I had a great birthday considering the circumstances. Life goes on. I am blessed with loved ones, comfort and security (for now). Other people are worse off and going through darker times than me.

And yet, despite my privileged position there is that darkness inside me. And I keep going, searching for something that makes me feel alive again.

Right now I'm dealing with my pain, setting it free to liberate the woman to come. Looking myself straight in the eye at my darkest moment — and still saying yes to the person I am.

I've come a long way. I should feel settled and at ease. Instead, I feel insecure and vulnerable. But looking back at my life, I've also experienced much happiness and accomplishments.

Happy Birthday to me. Here's to the next 50 years.

Let's Get This Midlife Party Started

Just over two weeks ago I turned 50.

Although I saw that one coming, it still came as a shock.

My current situation doesn't make it any better.

A few days before Valentine's Day, my boyfriend broke up with me all of a sudden. Just like that.

Had no idea he was that unhappy with me. After all, it was early days. We just got together six weeks before, and it seemed to go well.

He never said anything until he ended it.

Stupid.

Before that, my marriage of 20 years broke down in 2011, and for some reason I managed to get entangled in a stormy relationship that left me feeling drained from too much tension and drama.

Right now I'm feeling alone and pissed off whilst experiencing some ridiculous menopausal symptoms, which started a week ago.

They say it doesn't rain, it pours.

Dammit.

Where do I go from here?

I have no effing idea. Let's find out, shall we?

One step at a time. One blog post at a time.

My mission: 

• to make the most of what life throws at me on the road to getting old
• to overcome my insecurities
• not to give up
• to be happy despite all the shit that happens
• to find new love
• to embrace change and uncertainty
• to ask questions and explore the answers
• to be comfortable in my own skin

Now I'm 50.

I face the music and dance.

And you, dear Reader, come dance with me.