The Wanderess

Freedom and independence go hand in hand with longing and uncertainty. 

When I feel the freedom and independence, it's exhilarating happiness.

When I feel the longing and uncertainty, it's brooding despair.

Balancing both extremes in a healing way takes all my strength and resilience, but after 20 years of stasis, it feels like an awakening.

It's like living on the edge: it's perilous, but the view is breathtaking.

Resilience

Keep going - embracing the Unknown

“Resilience is accepting your new reality, even if it's less good than the one you had before. 

You can fight it, you can do nothing but scream about what you've lost, or you can accept that and try to put together something that's good.” 

- Elizabeth Edwards


“My scars remind me that I did indeed survive my deepest wounds. That in itself is an accomplishment. 

And they bring to mind something else, too. They remind me that the damage life has inflicted on me has, in many places, left me stronger and more resilient. 

What hurt me in the past has actually made me better equipped to face the present.” 

- Steve Goodier

Let's Get This Midlife Party Started

Just over two weeks ago I turned 50.

Although I saw that one coming, it still came as a shock.

My current situation doesn't make it any better.

A few days before Valentine's Day, my boyfriend broke up with me all of a sudden. Just like that.

Had no idea he was that unhappy with me. After all, it was early days. We just got together six weeks before, and it seemed to go well.

He never said anything until he ended it.

Stupid.

Before that, my marriage of 20 years broke down in 2011, and for some reason I managed to get entangled in a stormy relationship that left me feeling drained from too much tension and drama.

Right now I'm feeling alone and pissed off whilst experiencing some ridiculous menopausal symptoms, which started a week ago.

They say it doesn't rain, it pours.

Dammit.

Where do I go from here?

I have no effing idea. Let's find out, shall we?

One step at a time. One blog post at a time.

My mission: 

• to make the most of what life throws at me on the road to getting old
• to overcome my insecurities
• not to give up
• to be happy despite all the shit that happens
• to find new love
• to embrace change and uncertainty
• to ask questions and explore the answers
• to be comfortable in my own skin

Now I'm 50.

I face the music and dance.

And you, dear Reader, come dance with me.