How To Get Over a Breakup

I'm not the sort of person, who floats from one relationship to the next. I was married for 20 years and had a 3-year relationship afterwards.

Recently I was planning to settle down with a really nice guy (so I thought) for the rest of my life (at least that's my sincere intention when I start a relationship with someone).

But it wasn't meant to be. Dumped out of the blue, I had to start dealing with those terrible feelings of loss and hurt.

Although I'm stilling going through the motions, I'm no longer hurting as bad as I did two weeks ago.

And if you're wondering, how you will overcome the pain or if it will ever go away, then let me reassure you that you will get better, and you will be happy again.

First of all, don't ever beg him to stay or come back to you. Trust me, it's not attractive. Keep your dignity. Let him go.

Then, you need to be patient with yourself. Those painful feelings and depressive thoughts are normal in the circumstances.

Don't suppress your feelings. If you need to cry, have a good one. Let it out. I cried a whole day a few days after he left me, and afterwards I started to feel better.

Don't remember the good times you had with him. Instead, remember him for the fact he hurt you. Remember what you didn't like about him, and soon you'll realise it was for the best.

You will still experience the odd bad day, which is normal. Just keep being patient with yourself.

Talk about it with friends.

Practice self-care. Try not to drown your sorrows in alcohol and chocolate. Have some spa treatments instead.

Be optimistic about new possibilities. You will meet someone new, who will be right for you. You will love again, and it will be better than before.

Hindsight is a wonderful thing. You can reflect on why it went wrong, and you can learn from it, but don't ponder for too long. You need to put closure on it and move on.

Whatever you do, make sure it's nurturing and healing.

Don't get in touch with him. Delete him from your contacts and social media accounts.

He will never be your friend. Would you really want to be friends with someone, who rejected you and hurt you like this?

At one point, you will feel anger towards him, which will help your recovery. But don't be tempted to badmouth him or try to take some kind of vengeance. Your reputation will suffer (that bitter and twisted cow), and it really isn't worth your while.

Use your anger in a creative and healing way: go jogging, work out in the gym, dance, write a poem, create a clay sculpture of how you'd want him to look...

Maybe you're thinking that I'm making it sound easy, but trust me, I know how much a breakup sucks.

I also know that life goes on, and it's a more pleasant experience, when you are determined to enjoy it.

Always remember, that you will be happy again. Don't let this breakup defeat you.

And if you have more tips to share about how to heal from a breakup, please let me know.