It depends on the individual, how long it takes to overcome the heartbreak, and in the initial stage of healing it is advisable, not to rush into a new relationship only to avoid feeling alone or fulfilling the need to be loved.
This knee-jerk reaction will most likely lead to more emotional turmoil later, so it's best avoided, when you still feel raw.
First, give yourself some time to get used to your new single status and learn to be happy on your own again. This could take a few weeks or perhaps even months, but it is important you take the time you need to get to the stage, where you feel reasonably content with your situation.
Even at this point, you may not yet be ready to embark on a serious relationship again, but perhaps you are ready to date and meet new people, initially for friendship only.
Take it slowly, get to know people and let them know your intention, so they are clear about where they stand. If there is someone amongst them, who is really interested in you, then they are prepared to wait until you're ready.
You will need time to learn to trust again, especially when you were let down by your previous partner. After all, you don't want to experience another relationship disaster so soon after the last one.
You can never be sure what the future holds with someone, but things look good, if the new person is
- always keeping in touch with you regularly and is reliable
- keen to spend as much time with you as possible
- happy to introduce you to their circle of friends
- readily sharing personal information with you about family, work, past relationships etc.
- communicates clearly and isn't evasive
- showing that they care with little acts of affection
Looking for the good signs and experiencing them for a while will help you lower your risk of another disappointment.
Personally, I'm off on my first date on Sunday, nearly two months after my last breakup-nightmare. I have no intention to throw myself into a new relationship any time soon, but perhaps there is potential for the future.
He seems a great guy on paper, and I'm completely open-minded without any big expectations.
I actually do enjoy being on my own right now and feel liberated from the neediness of being in a relationship.
When I meet him, I'll just enjoy the time chatting, drinking coffee and getting to know him. And perhaps we'll meet again. Who knows?
This time, I'm determined to take it slow, and I'll make sure he knows that. If he doesn't like it, then that's tough for him, but not for me.
Hey girl, when you feel ready, you go for it.
Enjoy meeting new people, make new friends and have an interesting social life without emotional entanglement.
It's all part of the healing process. It builds confidence and self-esteem.
And one day, as if by magic and without trying hard, you know you are ready to be in love again, and it just feels right, when you meet someone new.
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